Judge John Hodgman on Adopting Cats While Drunk

Meghan writes: I moved to Kansas City, Mo., for work. My husband still lives in Chicago with our dog. After too many cocktails one night, I took a $50 Uber and adopted a cat. Sure, I have chronic asthma, but I was lonely. My husband cannot believe I didn’t ask him, and says he won’t live with a cat. But I can’t just take her back to Petco!

I’m also an asthmatic cat lover. I am willing to suffer for them, because they are not dogs. Nothing against dogs! I just prefer living with a sullen teenager than a perpetual infant. Your husband is the opposite. And while I find this repellent, he’s right. Adopting a pet without your spouse’s consent is wrong, even when you are drunk. Of course, returning the cat at this point would be cruel. But now he gets to pick ONE pet in the future without consulting you. Snake. Rat. Chinchilla. Anything. But don’t worry. You know it will probably just be another one of his precious dogs.